


liar liar

by Anyi_Arts



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, just a one off sentence, minor/implied dukeceit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25920469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anyi_Arts/pseuds/Anyi_Arts
Summary: He's tired.Of all the lying and deception. Funny when that was all he really was at this point, but, maybe that's why.Anyone would get tired if they were reduced to only one function and part of themselves.And what could he do but perform as expected, no matter how much he wished he could do otherwise.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	liar liar

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s a little thing I made way back in september that didn’t turn out too badly.

He speaks with such certainty and confidence,

And with the taste of ash in his mouth. Each word, one after the other, a fake, a facade.

_I’m fine. It’s okay. I can do that._

Lie, lie, lie.

He’s tired, he’s done, he’s hurt, he just wants to stop. But he can’t, he has to keep going. Not for himself, no, never for himself, but for the others.

He doesn’t want to lie anymore, to keep the truth hidden, but at this point it’s second nature. The words fly off his tongue faster than he can think, and they’re nothing but lies.

_“Why are you here?” Roman brings out his sword, points it at him, accuses him of crimes he hasn’t even thought of. “Oh you know, just walking through when I happened to hear some rather humorous commentary.” He was reading peacefully in his room, and their lies were screaming in his head. He just wants some quiet._

It’s rather funny actually.

_“Oh, Deceit! Good to see you.” Patton waved at him cheerfully._

_Oh, Patton! What a lie that was. “And you.”_

This wasn’t even his job, not at first. How things change, and how people forget.

_“Look who it is,_ Deceit _.” Part of him wanted to laugh at the way Virgil hissed out his name. The rest wanted to cry._

_He rolled his eyes. “I’m so glad you can still remember simple things like that. It would be so very disappointing to find that you were unable to.”_

_“Hard to forget something like that when you flaunt it everywhere.”_

_“Oh don’t I know it,_ Anxiety _.”_

He was barely ever called upon for anything anymore, hasn’t been in… who knows how long. At this point though, he was glad. It was just so… exhausting. He didn’t even want to help at this point, why would he? Derision and scorn was all he got from it, and after so long, lying is all they ever needed him for. Anything else he had to offer was forgotten and ignored.

_“Oh hello Deceit.” Logan says, looking up from his book._

_He tips his head in greeting. “Logan.”_

_“I was actually wondering if I could ask you something.” He closes the book, and Deceit begins to feel that dead dread._

_“Which is?”_

_“Well, Patton’s been acting off lately, but he refuses to acknowledge that anything’s wrong. I was hoping you could assist me in getting to the bottom of it.”_

_He put on a smirk, a teasing look in his eye, and ignored how dry his mouth felt. “Going behind Moralities back Logan? How unscrupulous of you.”_

_Logan adjusted his glasses, moving the book onto the table beside him. “It’s been weeks, and Patton going on like this is not only bad for himself, but also for Thomas. I will admit that going behind his back like this isn’t the best, but it’s the only thing I haven’t tried yet. Will you help me?”_

_He didn’t want to. He wanted to go back to his room where it was perfectly warm, where he didn’t feel like he was about to be pushed into a corner and attacked for existing, where he didn’t have to speak so carefully if at all. He wanted to leave, he wanted to hide, maybe even curl up with Remus if he could._

_His expression didn’t change. “Of course.”_

_Thomas’ heart is far more important than his feelings will ever be._

It was so, _so_ tempting to just quit. To duck out forever and fade away and not have to deal with this ever again. To finally rest. But of course he couldn’t. He was needed. He knew this, despite what the others thought and said and _believed_.

That didn’t make existing any less of an ordeal.

He was self preservation, he couldn’t.

He was self preservation, so one might wonder, why do something that hurts the self? The answer is quite simple. Is he truly enough to count as his own being? He is nothing but a figment of the imagination, a process and ideal with thoughts and a mind of its own but no true self. Everything he does is for the benefit of Thomas.

The benefit of the self.

His thoughts, his feelings, they don’t matter. His lies and how they burn is a must.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading <3  
> If you liked it, please leave a comment. Hearts, keysmashes, whatever you're most comfortable with, I'll gladly accept.


End file.
